For most of my widowed friends (I know far too many women who have been widowed), they have a ton of happy memories to hold onto. Some find ways to honor their late husbands. For example, one woman took their wedding rings and had them remade into a beautiful pendant. For widows like me who don’t want to hold onto much from him, it might seem harsh to others when we seem to erase those...
The Third Sunday of June
This year the third Sunday of June was the Summer Solstice. For some people, it was Father’s Day. The only thing this day does for my kids is remind them that they had a father who didn’t really know how to love them. On Twitter, people used to hashtag #girldad to talk about all the fathers with daughters. Some of the tweets I read showed how much those dads loved having daughters. It...
Grateful, Even in Uncertain Times
It’s been five years since my late husband began his rapid decline from liver cancer. At this point, he refused hospice care, deciding he’d live at home and distance himself from everyone so no one would know he was getting weaker. I’ve told that story. This is about now. In the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, my kids and I are staying home. I’m not risking our health. My...
A Widowed Mother’s Day
Before I was widowed, my late husband would help the kids make breakfast for me on Mother’s Dad. He would help them shop or clean or whatever. Recently, their grandparents asked them what they were going to do for me. Get me a card? Do something nice? Their grandfather said, “You should clean the kitchen.” When I got this report, I thought it was a little strange that they...
Now I’m Just the Mother of the Grandchildren
There have been so many feelings to sort through after my husband passed away. I was always close to his parents. We live in the same city. They picked up the kids from school before I was self-employed. We had lunches and dinners with them at least once a week for over twenty years. They treated me like a daughter from the beginning. Until the end. I didn’t really notice much of a difference in...
5 Things a Family Can Do to Move Forward
In my last post, I wrote that my kids were glad their father is gone now. It’s heartbreaking to hear that, but not every family has a harmonious environment. We don’t have to hold onto negative energy in our home. We shouldn’t. Here are some things children and widows can do to help let go of the negative energy: 1 Get grief counseling and/or therapy Find a local licensed therapist on the...
That moment your child says it’s good that he’s gone
After my husband passed away, our older child gave me some time to deal with all the things that have to be dealt with. Several months later, she began confiding in me. She was glad he was gone. Even though her father tried to tell her that he’d been wrong about many things, the damage had been done. My heart broke again. She was old enough for us to have candid and honest conversations about the...
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