after death did us part
There are so many ways a widowed person feels guilt: survivor’s guilt, parental guilt, guilt for not saying the right thing before their spouse died, guilt for doing something that might’ve have changed the course of history, and guilt for feeling relief that “death did us part.” It’s ridiculous how many ways we and other people impose guilt on us. It’s been on...
For most of my widowed friends (I know far too many women who have been widowed), they have a ton of happy memories to hold onto. Some find ways to honor their late husbands. For example, one woman took their wedding rings and had them remade into a beautiful pendant. For widows like me who don’t want to hold onto much from him, it might seem harsh to others when we seem to erase those...
I’ve talked about how I don’t keep anniversaries of him, but I wouldn’t be wholly honest if I said I don’t think about him on those dates. For me, the good memories are few and far between. For my kids and me, even some holidays aren’t easy to celebrate–not because any of us miss him, but because how his behavior during various holidays marred our enjoying of...
The UN has June 23 designated as International Widows’ Day. (You can click here to go to their website with more information and resources.) My first reaction when I heard that there was a day for widows was “meh.” But after reading the UN’s website, I realized that this day isn’t for widows like me. While I may often feel the stigma people still attach to widowhood...
Some widowed people commemorate their wedding anniversaries with fond remembrances or celebrations. Not me. Surprisingly, he didn’t want me to memorialize him at all—not on holidays, his birthday, his deathday, anything. “That just roots you in the past. Move on,” he said. I thank him for that one moment of clarity on his deathbed. Still, the societal norm of posting old...
after death did us part
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