after death did us part

Tagliving life

My House Is Not a Shrine

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One of my neighbors told me that her mother passed away over twenty years ago. My friend was in her early twenties at the time. Her dad never cleaned out her mother’s side of the closet. Over twenty years later, he was still living with his late wife’s clothes and belongings where she’d left them. My heart goes out to him. I know a woman in her late sixties who was widowed a few months ago. I...

The Sh*t I’ve Found 1: Music

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When we clean out closets and drawers and places, the things we find often spark memories. Not all these memories are good ones. For me, many of these are reminders that he wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. Cleaning out stuff is like upsetting the bottom of the lake and muddying the waters. That’s how it feels to me. I know that after I clean out the clutter, the water will clear. When I got my...

When to Break Promises

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When we’re in the middle of grief, sometimes we make promises to ourselves or about ourselves that don’t serve us well later. For example, a few weeks after I returned to work, I had a conversation with a coworker friend. He and his wife were a couple who we had considered friends. I told him that I’d never date, that we’d always be a little family of three. At the time, I believed it. But as my...

Being Widowed Doesn’t Mean Being Helpless

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I’ve seen lots of pictures of elegant, gray-haired women who are the images of widows for different support websites and products. I am not one of those women. I’m in my mid-forties. My gray hair started growing in as glitter strands when I was in my twenties. I know many little, old ladies who were widowed in their seventies and eighties. Most of them knew nothing about their finances or even...

5 Things a Family Can Do to Move Forward

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In my last post, I wrote that my kids were glad their father is gone now. It’s heartbreaking to hear that, but not every family has a harmonious environment. We don’t have to hold onto negative energy in our home. We shouldn’t. Here are some things children and widows can do to help let go of the negative energy: 1 Get grief counseling and/or therapy Find a local licensed therapist on the...

About the tagline: After Death Did Us Part

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In most weddings, the vow “’Til death do us part” is included in the ceremony. At the very moment one spouse passes away, the marriage is over. It’s quite literally the simplest end to a marriage. Grief follows, but every person’s grief is different. It will be different for the widow(er) who lost their spouse unexpectedly than it is for the person who had time (days, weeks, months) before an ill...

after death did us part

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